简短的经典英语故事：TSA’s New Policy
Cher called her supervisor. He tried to explain the situation to teary-eyed Brooke. He told her that the Transportation Security Administration couldn’t take a chance on Brooke boarding the plane. “For all we know,” he said, “your breast could actually be a deadly bomb in disguise. Once you get on board, all you have to do is pull on that ring to detonate the bomb, like you would pull the ring on a hand grenade. I'm sorry, but our motto is Better Safe than Sorry.”
The next day, Brooke contacted well-known Los Angeles lawyer Gloria Allred. Allred immediately filed a lawsuit against TSA. She held a televised press conference. “If a nipple ring might detonate a breast bomb,” Allred asked, “then why does TSA allow wedding rings on planes? Maybe someone could pull on their wedding ring and detonate a hand bomb! And why would a pretty young girl like Brooke want to blow herself up? TSA is going to be sorry they made this mistake.”
Just two days later, TSA announced that passengers with body piercings would no longer have to remove their jewelry, as long as they allowed TSA to “visually inspect” all the jewelry. Also, TSA reimbursed Brooke for her original plane ticket, bought her a round-trip first class ticket to Atlanta, and paid her an undisclosed cash settlement.
“This is a victory for the people,” Allred announced in a second press conference.
“This is a victory for TSA,” announced a TSA spokesman. “It allows us to focus on life and death issues rather than waste our valuable time waiting for travelers to remove all their jewelry.”
简短的经典英语故事：The Heart Attack
His computer was on. Maybe he should email someone. What would the email say—“I think I’m dying of a heart attack”? Wait a minute, he thought. He was about to die, and he was going to email someone who might not open his email for days?! He turned off the computer. Should he leave the dining table lamp on, or turn it off? He didn’t know whether to sit in the chair at the dining table, or go lie down in bed. Should he be sitting down or lying down when he died? Did it matter? He decided to sit in the chair and wait for his death.
He used to teach CPR, and he knew he had the symptoms of a heart attack. Victims usually describe a feeling of fullness. Students always used to ask what the “fullness” felt like, but he couldn't tell them. Now he knew exactly what it felt like.
So, this is how it’s going to happen, he thought, as he sat in the chair looking at the TV, waiting to die. He didn’t particularly like the thought of dying at this time, but he accepted it. He was 60 years old. You live, you die. Would he just quietly become unconscious? Or would his heart “explode,” causing him to yell out in pain?
And then the fullness in his chest simply disappeared. The numbness in his hand went away, too. He waited, just to be sure. He was okay! From start to finish, perhaps three minutes had passed. Thank You, he said quietly.
Tomorrow he should see a doctor and a lawyer, he thought. And next time, he shouldn’t worry about the cost of an ambulance ride or a hospital stay. He couldn’t believe that when he thought his very life was on the line, he had cheaped out.
“I had another bad dream,” she told her fiancé. “It was about you again. You and your ex-girlfriend were kissing. I yelled at you to stop it. You looked right at me,
and then you laughed at me! She laughed, too. Then you both went back to kissing. I tried not to watch, but when I covered my eyes, something pulled my hands away. I
tried to leave, but my feet were glued to the ground. Finally, I woke up. Of course, it was very difficult to get back to sleep.
“I had to drive home from Las Vegas this morning. It’s a wonder I didn’t crash 50 times. Instead of seeing traffic in front of me, all I saw was you and her. I can’t
take any more dreams like this. We’re going to have to break up. We can be friends, but just friends. That way, I won’t be jealous anymore, and I won’t have these bad
“Why didn’t you call me up and tell me about your dream?” he asked. “They say that the more you talk about bad dreams, the sooner you’ll stop having them.”
She disagreed. She thought that the only solution was to break up and be just friends. She loved him, but these dreams had become so frequent that she was actually
afraid to go to sleep. She was losing weight and having stomachaches from the stress.
He didn’t know what to do. He wanted her to have pleasant dreams. He wanted her to have a life without stress. He wanted her to be his wife. This was it, she repeated;
if she had just one more bad dream, they were through. He squeezed her hand, but said nothing.